About Loving-Kindness
Christmas is a time of `goodwill` that reminds us to be kind and compassionate to others, and also reminds us that we should try to make kindness a habit in our everyday lives. Gift-giving is a lovely tradition to show each other care, but rather than swapping obligatory store-bought presents, perhaps we could show appreciation and kindness towards one another in more alternative, meaningful ways. Instead of the yearly gifts and donations to charities, perhaps we could be more mindful throughout the year of how our actions affect the lives of others.
We are the creators of our own realities, yet we are also co-creators of a shared reality here on earth.
It is vital to cultivate love and compassion for ourselves, as we cannot truly love another or allow another to love us unless we love ourselves first. When we become responsible for nurtuing ourselves with loving-kindness, then we can assume the responsibility we have to be kind to each other, the environment around us, and all other life forms. When we make personal responsibility and social responsibility a habit, a positive way of living, we are automatically sharing love and compassion out into the world.
“Every action has a reaction”
The Ripple Effect
The Ripple Effect is based on the understanding that we are all connected. These connections stretch like an incredibly interwoven and complicated tapestry. Each of us exists within this tapestry. Thoughts and actions are like stones dropped in a pond and they create ripples that travel outward.
Everything we do and think affects the people in our lives and their reactions in turn affect others. The choices you make have far-reaching consequences. Each of us carries within us the capacity to change the world in small ways for better or worse. We can use the Principles of the Ripple Effect to magnify our actions and their effects.
Why Kindness Is Good For You by Dr David Hamilton
Dr David Hamilton explains how one act of kindness to a person will create another act of kindness. He discusses how kindness has a positive side-effect in that it makes you feel happier, and recommends picking a kindness day of the week eg, Friday.. so for the next 6 Fridays try to carry out 5 small acts of kindness.
He explains how evolution has shown us that we are naturally wired to be kind as opposed to being selfish, and that we have evolved through helping each other- forming groups and communities throughout history, and how being kind forms strong bonds within a group.
He talks about how kindness alters brain chemistry and the science behind it. Oxytocin is the hormone that is produced with warm contact- hugging, breast-feeding, falling in love etc. Research shows that Oxytocin has positive effects including lowering blood pressure, and anti-inflammatory effects.
Compassion Meditation changes the brain.
There are many current studies that show how the brain circuits respond to our emotions and vice versa. Tibetan monks undertook a study that showed how practicing loving-kindness meditation and employing it as a philosophy and mission stimulates activity in the insula- the region of the brain responsible for emotions and for mapping the bodily responses to emotions such as heart rate and blood pressure. The area of the brain linked with processing empathy- the temporal parietal juncture- was also shown to be activated.
(http://www.news.wisc.edu/14944)
About Metta by the buddhistcentre.com:
The original name of this practice is metta bhavana, which comes from the Pali language. Metta means `love` (in a non-romantic sense), friendliness, or kindness: hence `loving-kindness` for short. It is an emotion, something you feel in your heart. Bhavana means development or cultivation. The commonest form of the practice is in five stages, each of which should last about five minutes for a beginner.
1 1) In the first stage, you feel metta for yourself. You start by becoming aware of yourself, and focusing on feelings of peace, calm and tranquillity. Then you let these grow in to feelings of strength and confidence, and then develop into love within your heart. You can use an image, like a golden light flooding your body, or a phrase such as `may I be well and happy`, which you can repeat to yourself. These are ways of stimulating the feeling of metta for yourself.
2 2)In the second stage think of a good friend. Bring them to mind as vividly as you can, and think of their good qualities. Feel your connection with your friend, and your liking for them, and encourage these to grow by repeating `may they be well; may they be happy` quietly to yourself. You can also use an image, such as a shining light from your heart into theirs. You can use these techniques- a phrase or an image in the next two stages as well.
3 3)Then think of someone you do not particularly like or dislike. Your feelings are `neutral`. This may be someone who you do not know well but see around. You reflect on their humanity, and include them in your feelings of metta.
4 4) Think of someone you actually dislike- an enemy. Trying not to get caught up in any feelings of hatred, you think of them positively and send your metta to them as well.
5 5) In the final stage, first of all you think of all four people together- yourself, the friend, the neutral person, and the enemy. Then extend your feelings further- to everyone around you, and to everyone in your neighbourhood, in your town, your country and so on throughout the world. Have a sense of waves of loving-kindness spreading from your heart to everyone, to all beings everywhere. (https://thebuddhistcentre.com/text/loving-kindness-meditation)
My Metta Meditation Script:
***********Carry out the basic prep breathing meditation here****************
We will start with connecting to ourselves.
Try to connect with your inner energy, what is inside of you. Your spirit or life force. You might feel it as a buzz or tingle, or just a knowing. How does the connection to yourself feel? Is it hard or soft? Warm or cold? Loving or criticising?
Allow yourself to soften the connection, to open your heart centre, to give yourself love. Soften your heart and allow it to open. Let it be calm.
Feel the sense of caring, healing and soothing. Let it wash over you and through you while you gently repeat to yourself:
May I be filled with loving-kindness
May I be healthy and strong
May I be peaceful and at ease
May I be happy, loved and cared for
May I be free of suffering
Wish yourself joy, appreciation, freedom, wisdom, compassion and kindness
Now I want you to think about the web of energy connecting you to others- how does it feel? Think about each strand of connection to your close friends, your family, colleagues, strangers. Do they feel loving, kind, appreciating? Do others feel hard, awkward, angry?
Try to soften that whole web of connection, sending out a little pink light of love from your heart centre, and letting it travel through the web of energy connections to wherever it needs to go.
Bring into your mind someone who is important to you, someone you like and respect. Think about all their good qualities. Engulf them with warmth and caring. See them happy and smiling. Wish them all the good you would wish for yourself.
In your mind, repeat to them
May you be filled with loving-kindness
May you be healthy and strong
May you be peaceful and at ease
May you be happy, loved and cared for
May you be free of suffering
Now, bring to mind someone you do not particularly like or dislike. Your feelings are `neutral`. This may be someone who you do not know well but see around. Think of the connection to them, and imagine softening the connection with a pink light from the heart centre. In your mind, repeat to them
May you be filled with loving-kindness
May you be healthy and strong
May you be peaceful and at ease
May you be happy, loved and cared for
May you be free of suffering
Now, think of someone you actually dislike- an enemy. Trying not to get caught up in any feelings of hatred, think about how the connection to them feels. Try to soften the connection by sending out a pink light from the heart centre into the energy web.
In your mind, repeat to them
May you be filled with loving-kindness
May you be healthy and strong
May you be peaceful and at ease
May you be happy, loved and cared for
May you be free of suffering
Now, think of all four people together- yourself, the friend, the neutral person, and the enemy. Then extend your feelings further- out into the larger web of connections around you, to the people you work with, socialise with, strangers passing by on the street, to everyone in your neighbourhood, in your town, your country and further out into the world. Have a sense of waves of loving-kindness spreading from your heart to everyone, to all beings everywhere. Repeat to them
May you be filled with loving-kindness
May you be healthy and strong
May you be peaceful and at ease
May you be happy, loved and cared for
May you be free of suffering
Breathing in love, breathing out kindness. (Repeat several times)
*******************Give some space to be quiet****************
**carry out closing meditation script and bringing back to the present**
